Yesterday, 03:01 AM
GTA 6 is almost here, you degenerates. We stoked or no?
We've waited so fucking long for this game that some of you were still getting grounded by your parents when GTA 5 came out. Now you've got mortgages, divorces, three kids you don't like, and a prescription for blood pressure medication.
Rockstar has taken so fucking long developing this thing that actual Florida has somehow become more ridiculous than fictional Florida. At this point, all they need to do is livestream a Walmart parking lot in Tampa and they've got 90% of the side missions finished.
I'm expecting hookers, cocaine, carjackings, spectacularly poor life decisions, and enough politically incorrect bullshit to make the entire internet have a collective fucking aneurysm.
And if I can't steal a police helicopter, crash it into a strip club, and get chased through a swamp by a meth-addicted hillbilly riding an alligator, then what the FUCK have we been waiting all these years for?
Of course, you just know there's going to be some insufferable asshole writing a 4,000-word Reddit dissertation about why GTA 6 is problematic while the rest of us are busy running over pedestrians in a stolen golf cart.
My biggest concern is that Rockstar has spent so much time and money on this game that they're going to charge us $19.99 just to unlock the ability to tell an NPC to go fuck himself.
Anyway, who's buying this bastard on day one? Who's waiting for reviews? And who's still playing on a potato from 2013 because your wife won't let you spend $500 on a console?
Let's hear it, you miserable fucks.
We've waited so fucking long for this game that some of you were still getting grounded by your parents when GTA 5 came out. Now you've got mortgages, divorces, three kids you don't like, and a prescription for blood pressure medication.
Rockstar has taken so fucking long developing this thing that actual Florida has somehow become more ridiculous than fictional Florida. At this point, all they need to do is livestream a Walmart parking lot in Tampa and they've got 90% of the side missions finished.
I'm expecting hookers, cocaine, carjackings, spectacularly poor life decisions, and enough politically incorrect bullshit to make the entire internet have a collective fucking aneurysm.
And if I can't steal a police helicopter, crash it into a strip club, and get chased through a swamp by a meth-addicted hillbilly riding an alligator, then what the FUCK have we been waiting all these years for?
Of course, you just know there's going to be some insufferable asshole writing a 4,000-word Reddit dissertation about why GTA 6 is problematic while the rest of us are busy running over pedestrians in a stolen golf cart.
My biggest concern is that Rockstar has spent so much time and money on this game that they're going to charge us $19.99 just to unlock the ability to tell an NPC to go fuck himself.
Anyway, who's buying this bastard on day one? Who's waiting for reviews? And who's still playing on a potato from 2013 because your wife won't let you spend $500 on a console?
Let's hear it, you miserable fucks.